My tummy is making the weirdest noises right now. I really hope Molly and Lindsay aren’t paying any attention to them. That would be bad. Whatever I had to eat in the dining hall just didn’t settle with my stomach. But then again, nothing from Meredith, or as I like to call it.. Meredeath..ever settles right. 

I keep thinking about what I want to do, and where I want to go. And I still have no idea. I keep praying, but God’s too busy making my life miserable. Not really, though. I know everything happens for a reason, and that bad things happen together and all at once, because I think God likes to test us. He wants to know who is the most deserving of His kingdom, and who isn’t. He wants to know who will give up on him and who won’t. And I’m trying to be better at being one of his children, but I’m not doing my best. I need to sit down every single day and read my bible, and talk to God all the time. I always go to my friends for help, or my family, or my boyfriend, but I need to start asking God what to do. It’s just so hard. It seems like every time I get my life right, and it’s headed in the right direction, something happens to slow me down, or drag me away. 

I think I need to get back to reading His word daily, and having actual conversations with him, instead of just praying, please God let me do this or that. 

I’m going to start being a better Christian and then I think I will know what I’m supposed to do with my life.